From Self to Nothingness

The two readings of the spies

Some say the spies were driven by ego, they feared losing their positions as tribal leaders once Yehoshua took over entering the Promised Land. Karen reveals she prefers another reading:

In the previous week's portion, Eldad and Medad prophesied within the camp that Moshe would die in the desert, and that Yehoshua would replace him. The spies said to each other: "We don't want another leader. Why be subject to the light of the Moon, instead of the light of the Sun?"

Whichever side of the coin it is, one thing is certain: in that moment, they lacked certainty in the Light of the Creator.

"Enter the land. That's where you belong"

The Creator was explicit: "Move forward. Enter the land. Don't worry about the things you'll see there, for I am with you."

The answer to what happened with the spies is simple and devastating: they lacked certainty. And the place where certainty is born isn't the place of the Self.

Why do we meditate? To empty out.

Karen explains meditation's deepest purpose:

It isn't technique. It's emptiness. It's the only way to receive the Creator's messages, to feel His presence within our being, when we remove our Ani, when we remove the part of the ego that keeps us from hearing anything.

The spies were reincarnations of Yaakov's sons

The 12 spies weren't just any men, they were the incarnation of the souls of Yaakov's 12 sons, the 12 tribes. And, just like Yaakov's sons, even at the highest spiritual level, they were afraid.

"Will Yosef kill us now that our father is gone?", that same fear returned in the spies. And it returns in us.

Sheker has a shin, the lie has a little truth in it

Why do we believe lies? Karen opens up the secret of the word sheker (שֶׁקֶר), falsehood: it has a ש shin, the letter that is the union of the negative and the positive.

A lie is usually believed when it has a spark of truth inside it. And that's exactly what the spies did: they brought the enormous grapevine, the huge fruits. "The land is beautiful, fertile, abundant, except for the giants." The spark of truth made the poison swallowable.

Calev went to Hebron, the first visit to the Tzadikim

Yehoshua received the letter ה (Hei) from the name Sarai, transmitted by Moshe, an energy that descends from above downward to protect him among his opponents.

Calev said: "And me? What did I receive?" So he did something unprecedented: he went to Hebron, to the cave of the Tzadikim, and begged Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov: "Protect me. Let my mind see only the truth."

This is the first time in the Torah that someone goes to the Tzadikim for protection. Calev drew the energy from below upward. Together, Yehoshua and Calev formed a bonding union, and were the only spies to remain steadfast.

The portion's giant Yud, without heart, nothing lasts

In this portion, for the first time, there's a י yud written enlarged. The yud is the smallest letter of the alphabet, but here it's gigantic. Why? It's the symbol of the sign of Virgo: our criticism, our space of uncertainty.

Karen recalls Akhitophel and Doeg, great sages of the Sanhedrin, with tremendous minds. They studied, they knew everything. But they had no humanity. And without humanity, Karen teaches, there's no such thing as learning, no such thing as being part of the Creator.

Moshe reached Ayin, and this is the invitation for us

The Creator told Moshe: "Let Me destroy them. I'll make another nation out of you." Moshe could have accepted. But Moshe was "nothing in terms of ego", open, empty, ready to receive the Light. And he answered: "But the nations of the world will look and say the Lord had no mercy, as it is written in His book."

The Creator was waiting for those words. Sometimes, He waits for ours too, He waits for us to say: "Wait. Yes, I feel anger. Yes, I feel jealousy. But wasn't I placed here for a purpose? Isn't this moment in my life specific?"